Saturday, 16 March 2013

Fear

In this post I wanted to talk about fear and the intense crippling effect it can have.

The pressure is on for me to decide on what the next step is in my life. Yet, I am at a standstill.

The people around me who care about me are slowly getting mad at me because I am not doing nearly as much as I should be.

So here I sit, trying to be productive as I have tried many times before. Only a familiar feeling creeps up. This feelings crushes any of my hopes of doing something productive and actually coming into my own. The feeling of fear.

So in attempts to come to terms with this fear and possibly connect and help anyone else out there with this problem, I am writing this.

DEALING WITH FEAR

Life can become very incomplete because of fear. The list of experiences that a person can miss can go on and on.

When you feel afraid of something, you find every reason possible not to do it. The "what ifs" flood your mind. Then it doesn't only become about missing out on an experience or activity. It becomes personal. Fear has a way of playing tricks on your mind, making you feel inferior.

I can make a list of friendships I have botched up because of fear. I can make a list of life changing experiences that I missed out on because of being too scared to take steps towards it.

And now? I have regret. I wish that I was someone else. I wish I was braver. I wish I wish I wish.

This fear can turn you into your own enemy sometimes.

And I am realizing that maybe I can be amazing without this fear.

So how do you deal with this fear?

Well first, you have to ask yourself the question, "What are you afraid of?" Right now, when I'm supposed to be doing things for my future, I do nothing; not because I want to do nothing, but because I am scared. I figure the first thing to do is make a list of reasons why you are afraid.

I'm going to go through one fear as an example and work through it. So, what am I afraid of?

------I am afraid that no one accepts me and I just fail.

The next thing to do is put the worst case scenario to each of these fears. (I promise I have a point at the end of this :) )

------No one accepts me.(Ah!)

Now that you have all the worst case scenarios and you feel like crap (smile) all that is left to do is write out solutions to these scenarios and deal with each fear one at a time, even if there is no solution. The important thing is addressing each fear individually instead of all of them piling up into one big mass and taking control of you. You take control by kicking each one individually.

------Ok. So no school accepts me. I can either apply to more schools or take it as a sign that maybe this ISN'T the right path for me. At least I would have tried and not wondered the rest of my life if this I would have or could have. Now I can move on and try something else. (Wow. This can possibly be my only point, but let's go on).

Working out each fear individually makes them seem smaller and smaller. However, when you let all of them just become one, huge, controlling mass, THAT is when fear takes over. Never just make the word "fear" be the reason that you are afraid. It is not fear that you are afraid of. There is specific things that cause this fear and people, including myself, tend to forget that thus leading to the fear never going away.

Write all of it down and work each out or talk about it with someone. Talking it out/writing it out OR even just talking it over out loud with yourself can lead to solutions. And the more we practise this, the more it becomes a habit and the more we can gain control over fear.

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